Leaving is never easy. Be it leaving your parents’ house to go to college, or leaving a city your grew up in. It’s not easy to leave a girlfriend of 1 year or a spouse of 10. And it’s not easy to move to another country on the opposite side of the globe, with a different language, customs and culture. Leaving is hard and it hurts.
Sometimes it’s bittersweet - it’s the end of something good, but also the beginning of something better. Though regardless of whether it was good or bad, it takes time to adjust to your new life. Time heals all wounds, they say - I suppose it’s true to a degree. But it always takes work to truly move on. If you’re lucky, all you need is a good song - “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” helped me get over a break up with my girlfriend in college. “Life goes on, bra,” I reminded myself, when my spirits took a steep dive. Other times you will go through a painful withdrawal - crying feats and everything.
It doesn’t matter if the thing you are moving away from was bad and leaving feels more like escape - emigrating from a poor country or divorcing an abusive husband - what you often leave behind and have to mourn for properly is a dream that will never become a reality. Not in that country or with that person, anyway. You might have spent years working on your dream and now it’s time to move on.
But the new life presents its own challenges. You might find yourself trying to fit your old square ways into your new round life. Keeping an open mind is crucial.
And if you’re depressed and can’t see the obvious? Ask for help. A friend who would listen or a professional therapist - if you think you need help, ask for it - that’s what friends are for.
September 22, 2010
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Climber of rocks, maker of things, husband of wife and father of kids. Manage DevOps @SurveyMonkey. Views are my own, but damn they are good views!